It’s women who criticise other women more than men: Soha Ali
17/02/2018
She may be blue-blooded, but Soha Ali Khan exudes a certain sense of simplicity and realism that’s a far cry from one’s ‘elitist’ perception of her. Soha’s clarity of thought, coupled with the ability to express herself concisely, makes her for a great conversationalist. From films and sexism to her privileged life and her identity beyond the name of her family, the actress-turned-author spoke candidly to BT when we caught up with her at her Khar home, which is reminiscent of a French art gallery. The fact that we could meet her four-month-old daughter Inaaya Naumi Kemmu, was an added bonus. Excerpts...
While homemakers feel that working women have it easy because they have full-time help, the latter feel homemakers are fortunate to spend more time with their children. What’s your take on this age-old debate, now that you have become a mother yourself?
I feel women are always going to be criticised, no matter what they do. And, it’s women who criticise other women more than men; we make it difficult for ourselves. If you are giving all your time to your children, people will say, ‘Isko koi aur kaam nahi hai toh isliye easy hai. Isko toh ghar par hi baithna hai’. On the other hand, you judge working women for leaving their children behind. If I attend a press conference, people will ask me who is at home looking after my daughter, but if Kunal (Kemmu, husband) goes for an event, no one ask will him this question. Such things are a part and parcel of a woman’s life. There is inherent sexism and no matter what you do, there will be people who will criticise you, so it’s best to ignore them and do your own thing.
Inaaya and Taimur (Saif and Kareena’s baby boy) are internet sensations already. As a mother, does the early exposure worry you?
As actors and public figures, this is an integral part of our lives. When I first joined the industry, there were no paps. They didn’t even like being called that. There were no photographers at the airport, outside the gyms or restaurants, but now, you see them everywhere. While we have chosen this life, it’s not Inaaya’s choice, so it might be irksome for her.
Born to celeb parents (Sharmila Tagore and the late Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi), you must have also dealt with public attention from an early age...
There wasn’t this kind of attention because we grew up in Delhi. There were no photographers or Bollywood glitzy parties there. Only in college did I learn about my father’s achievements in cricket. Similarly, I got to know about my mother’s achievements in cinema after joining the film industry. I remember my mother attending every PTA meeting at school. For me they, were like any other ordinary parents.
Given your background, do you get excited about the little joys of life, like common people do?
We do lots of normal things! Somebody laughed at my me because I made a comparison in my book as to how I live in a small 2BHK now. They wondered how small I think a 2BHK is, compared to the Pataudi palace where I grew up. So, ‘common’ for someone is not common for the other person. It’s all relative. I think that my life has been quite normal, though we come from a certain position of privilege. We are better off than a lot of people in the country and not as well off as some others. Also, when you talk of something like privilege in a country like India where there is so much income disparity, you can say that I work hard. But it’s difficult to muster up sympathy as an actor because you are paid very handsomely for your time. There are lot of people out there who work very hard and don’t get paid equally.
Even at the risk of getting into trouble, both Saif and you speak your mind. Have you inherited that trait from your father?
My father was more diplomatic than both of us. It’s not that he wouldn’t give an answer, but they were sensible and well-gauged and he would use the right language. I’d like to think that I am more like him, but I think outspokenness comes from one’s individual character. It is shaped by family, friends, education and your own personality. It’s also important to understand that complete honesty can be offensive to some people, so you have to be tactful.
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